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Someone is trying to separate you from the people who care about you
They suggest your friends don't really understand you, your family is too controlling, or that other people are jealous of your relationship. Gradually, they become the only person you feel you can talk to. This isn't love — it's isolation.
What You Might Notice
They criticise your friends and family
Subtle at first — 'I just think they don't appreciate you' — then more directly undermining your relationships.
They want to be your only source of support
'You don't need them, you have me.' Creating a world where they're the centre.
You're spending less time with people who matter to you
If your social world has shrunk since this relationship started, notice that.
They react badly when you make plans without them
Guilt, anger, sulking, or accusations when you spend time with others.
What You Can Do
Maintain your existing relationships
Keep seeing friends and family, even if the other person doesn't like it. The people who were there before this relationship are your safety net.
Notice if your world is getting smaller
A healthy relationship adds to your life — it doesn't replace everything else in it.
Tell someone what's happening
If you feel like you can't talk to anyone about this relationship, that itself is a warning sign.
Use a safe device to reach out if needed.
Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.
If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
Encouraging or engineering the target's separation from friends, family, or online communities who might recognise the grooming pattern. 'They don't understand us.' 'Your parents wouldn't get it.' 'Your friends are jealous.' Undermines existing relationships to increase dependency on the perpetrator.
Mitigations for this technique are under development. If you have suggestions on how to improve this content, please submit a pattern.
Detection Indicators
ID
Detection Indicator
SAFE-D-0001
Anomalous Battery Consumption Device battery depletes faster than baseline due to continuous background data transmission.
SAFE-D-0002
Unexplained Data Usage Increased mobile data consumption without corresponding user activity. Monitor per-app data usage for unknown processes.
SAFE-D-0003
Device Temperature Anomalies Device runs hot during idle periods indicating background process activity.
SAFE-D-0004
Information Leakage Indicators Adversary demonstrates knowledge of private communications, locations, or activities accessible only through device monitoring.
SAFE-D-0005
Unknown Applications or Profiles Presence of unrecognised apps, device administrator privileges, or configuration profiles.
The TFA Matrix is a research framework under active development. Technique classifications, detection methods, and mitigations reflect current understanding and are subject to revision. This framework does not constitute forensic methodology, legal evidence standards, or clinical diagnostic criteria. Practitioners should apply professional judgement appropriate to their discipline and jurisdiction.