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Someone is giving you gifts to create obligation

They buy you things, send money, pay for meals, or give your child in-game items. This feels generous but it creates a feeling of owing them — which they will eventually use.

What You Might Notice

  • The gifts come before you've established a real relationship

    Generosity from someone you barely know is a warning sign, not a green flag.

  • You feel uncomfortable saying no to their requests because of what they've given you

    This is the obligation working exactly as intended.

What You Can Do

  • You don't owe anyone anything because they gave you something

    A genuine gift has no strings attached. If you feel pressure to reciprocate, that's a signal.

  • Tell your children: adults shouldn't be buying them things online

    Especially from people they don't know in person.

Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.

If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

This framework is under active development. View full limitations & methodology.