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Even if the monitoring claims are exaggerated or false, the fear they create is real. Reach out for help through a channel you believe is safe.

Making You Afraid to Communicate

Someone tells you they're monitoring everything you say and do online — creating a chilling effect where you're afraid to reach out for help, talk to friends, or communicate freely.

What You Might Notice

  • The other person explicitly tells you they can see everything

    Statements like 'I know everything you do' or 'I can read all your messages'.

  • You self-censor everything because you assume you're watched

    Fear of surveillance prevents you from seeking help.

  • The other person demonstrates knowledge that seems to prove monitoring

    They may have some access, but use it to imply total surveillance.

What You Can Do

  • Understand that total monitoring is very difficult

    Most people can't actually see everything. The claim is often bigger than the reality.

  • Find one safe way to communicate

    Even one unmonitored channel — a friend's phone, an in-person conversation — is enough to start getting help.

  • Contact 1800RESPECT from a safe phone

    They can help you assess how much monitoring is actually happening and make a safety plan.

Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.

If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

This framework is under active development. View full limitations & methodology.