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Someone controls who you can follow, what you can post, or who can contact you on social media — either by demanding you change settings, by accessing your accounts, or through constant monitoring that makes you self-censor.
What You Might Notice
You feel you can't post freely because the other person will react
Fear of the other person's response controls what you share online.
The other person dictates who you can follow or be friends with online
They demand you remove connections or restrict your social media activity.
Your social media settings have been changed without your input
Privacy settings, friend lists, or profile information has been altered.
What You Can Do
Recognise that controlling your social media is controlling behaviour
You have the right to use social media freely.
Create a private account the other person doesn't know about
A separate space where you can communicate freely.
Use a different email and don't link it to your primary accounts.
Talk to someone you trust about what's happening
Controlling behaviour escalates. Getting support early matters.
Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.
If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
Controlling who victim can follow, friend, interact with, or be visible to on social media platforms. May involve demanding victim unfriend specific contacts, monitoring follower/following lists, requiring approval before posting, or demanding social media passwords to vet all interactions.
Autonomy Assertion Recognise demands to control social media connections as controlling behaviour. Document demands.
SAFE-M-0120
Private Secondary Account Maintain separate private account for support connections if needed.
Detection Indicators
ID
Detection Indicator
SAFE-D-0107
Connection Control Demands Demands to unfriend specific people, restrict posting, or delete accounts.
SAFE-D-0108
Connection Monitoring Adversary comments on or confronts about social media connections and interactions.
The TFA Matrix is a research framework under active development. Technique classifications, detection methods, and mitigations reflect current understanding and are subject to revision. This framework does not constitute forensic methodology, legal evidence standards, or clinical diagnostic criteria. Practitioners should apply professional judgement appropriate to their discipline and jurisdiction.