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If someone consistently makes you doubt your memory of digital interactions, that itself is a form of abuse. Trust your experience.

Making You Doubt Yourself Online

Someone uses technology to make you question your own memory and perception — deleting messages then denying they existed, changing settings then blaming you, or rewriting digital history.

What You Might Notice

  • Things you remember seeing or reading online seem to have disappeared

    Messages, posts, or settings you clearly remember are gone.

  • The other person insists events didn't happen the way you remember

    They have a different version of a digital interaction you were part of.

  • Your device settings keep changing and you're told you must have done it yourself

    Changes you didn't make are attributed to your own confusion.

What You Can Do

  • Start keeping a private journal of digital interactions

    Write down what happened, when, in your own words. A handwritten journal can't be remotely altered.

  • Screenshot important conversations immediately

    Don't wait — capture the evidence before it can be changed or deleted.

  • Trust your own experience

    If your memory consistently differs from what the other person tells you, take that seriously.

Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.

If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

This framework is under active development. View full limitations & methodology.