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Messages that sound innocent but you know are threats

They send messages that would look harmless to anyone else — but you know what they really mean. 'I was in your area today.' 'I thought about you when I saw [something specific].' The threat is real but invisible to everyone except you.

What You Might Notice

  • Messages that reference places, people, or events with hidden meaning

    They mention your workplace, your child's school, or a specific location — and you know it's a threat, not a casual comment.

  • You feel afraid but can't explain why to anyone reading the message

    The words look innocent on paper. The fear you feel is based on context only you have.

What You Can Do

  • Keep a log that explains the context

    Write down what each message means to you and why. 'When they say X, they mean Y because of Z incident.' This context is evidence.

  • Tell a DV specialist about the pattern

    Family violence services understand coded threats. They can help you document and explain the pattern to police and courts.

Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.

If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

This framework is under active development. View full limitations & methodology.