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Getting Others to Watch You

Someone convinces friends, family, neighbours, or mutual contacts to report back on your activities, either openly or without you knowing.

What You Might Notice

  • Information you only shared with specific people gets back to the other person

    Things you told a friend in confidence are known to someone who shouldn't know.

  • Mutual contacts ask unusually detailed questions

    People start asking where you're going, who you're seeing, or what your plans are — more than feels natural.

  • You notice people watching or checking on you

    Neighbours, work colleagues, or acquaintances seem to be tracking your comings and goings.

What You Can Do

  • Be thoughtful about what you share and with whom

    Consider which contacts might pass information to the other person, even without bad intent.

  • Create an inner circle of trusted people

    Identify a small number of people you trust completely and keep sensitive information within that circle.

  • Have a conversation with people you suspect are reporting back

    Sometimes people don't realise they're being used. A calm conversation may help.

Important: This resource provides general information, not personal advice. Every situation is different. The actions suggested here may not be safe in your specific circumstances — particularly if the person causing harm could notice changes to your devices or accounts. Always consider your physical safety first.

If you need personalised support, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or your local specialist domestic violence service. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.

This framework is under active development. View full limitations & methodology.